


Heart In Mouth

by rottenrosette



Category: Purple Hyacinth - Ephemerys & Sophism (Webcomic)
Genre: 100 Percent Pure Fluff, 100 percent wish fulfillment, F/M, I am subsisting off of Lula particles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 06:36:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29995374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rottenrosette/pseuds/rottenrosette
Summary: Only Lila, the most nonthreatening person in the precinct, could have this effect on him. He scoffed at his own expense. I shouldn’t be this nervous, he thought.
Relationships: Lila Desroses & Lukas "Grumpy Cat" Randall
Comments: 21
Kudos: 35





	Heart In Mouth

Damn Kym Ladell. She might not think so once she sobers up, but she was lucky that Lukas had gotten that blackmail on her. Otherwise, he would’ve had to exact his revenge upon her by some other means. Sure, she was drunk. But being drunk was no excuse for the embarrassment she’d caused.

He couldn’t wait to get out of there. 

Just as he stood from the table to make his escape, Lila came into his field of vision again. She was already sitting down, alone at a booth with a little cup in her hand. He watched as she swirled its contents around absentmindedly.

She looked so...forlorn.

Lukas began to make his way over, his hands in his pockets to hide how violently they trembled. Only Lila, the most nonthreatening person in the precinct, could have this effect on him. He scoffed at his own expense. _I shouldn’t be this nervous,_ he thought. He let out a breath and mentally berated himself into pressing forward. With each step he took, he felt his heart drop in his chest. Lila looked up at him before he’d even reached her table, a look of anticipation in her eyes. That made his heart drop even more.

He had to force himself to open his mouth. Ignoring the tightening in his chest, he said, “I’m...sorry about them. Kym especially.”

Lila let out a sing-song laugh, fidgeting with her skirt. “Don’t worry about it! It’s Kym, so...that’s to be expected.” Lukas looked down, shifting his feet. “Besides, it’s not like anything she said was coherent or true. I mean, it’s drunken speech...It’s just meaningless nonsense, right?”

He looked up then, his eyes wider than he’d meant them to be. “Right.”

“...I’m really glad you came, by the way!” she piped up suddenly, as if to fill up any potential awkward silences before they could even begin.

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t miss the opportunity...for blackmail, I mean.”

“Have you gotten anything good yet?”

Lukas smirked devilishly, pulling out his camera. “I’m so glad you asked.” Lila clapped her hands together and, to his surprise, stood up to come closer to him. She shuffled beside him so that their arms touched, and as he took out the roll of film, she leaned in close, her strawberry blonde hair brushing against his shoulder. His heart pounded with her so close. He hoped she wouldn’t hear it.

“Oh, wow!” She gasped as he pointed out the one with Kym and Will, small and sepia-toned, but just clear enough to make out. She pressed her hand to her heart in shocked delight.

“It’s my best work. Too bad Lauren hustled it from me for 7 pence. I promised it to her once I get the film developed.”

“So you got amazing blackmail material, _and_ you made a profit! That’s awesome! You’ve had a really successful night,” Lila said, turning to face him with sparkling eyes, the color of caramel. Their faces were so close, too close, so she took a step back and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She gently cleared her throat. “So--”

“Why are--” 

“Oh, sorry!” She clapped her hands over her mouth.

“No, you go first--”

“No, no, it’s okay! I already forgot my question!” She giggled sheepishly.

Lukas scratched his head. Why were they so clumsy around each other? “I was just going to ask...What are you doing sitting alone?”

“Oh!” Lila’s smile faltered for a moment, and her eyes darted to the side as she tried to think of what to say. “Um...I didn’t want to...intrude, on the other groups, I guess. Everyone’s just so friendly with each other, and it’s lovely to see. It’s really lovely for them.”

“You’re one of the friendliest people I know,” he said, immediately regretting it. Stupid. That was a stupid thing to say. “I just mean--you’re the last person who should be by themselves.”

Lila looked down for a second before looking back up again. “...Well, thank you for keeping me company…Um, aren’t you going to go back? They’ll be missing you, I’m sure.”

Lukas shook his head and slid into the booth. “They’re all too loud for me.”

Lila laughed again and returned to her seat to sit across from him. “Yeah, it’s a bit overwhelming, huh? So many people…” He looked down at her hands, which she’d rested on the tabletop. They were so delicate. And shaking. She noticed his gaze and quickly hid her hands away under the table.

That was when Lukas recalled Kym’s words. _“She’s so nervous around you,”_ she’d said. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed. Will seemed to think Lila was scared of him. Was it true? Was Lila...afraid of him?

Lila broke his train of thought. “That’s why it’s kind of nice, being alone in the corner. It’s quieter, and I get to watch everyone have fun, and that’s really fun for me, too.”

“But you don’t want to be alone, do you?”

“Well...I do sometimes.”

“What about right now?”

She looked down at her lap for a moment, before looking back up again and smiling bashfully. She shook her head no, the gentle waves of her hair bouncing from side to side. “It’s nice to be alone, but...not all the time.”

Lukas gave a little nod. Normally he wouldn’t have agreed. He’d convinced himself that he liked being alone and would stay alone. More recently, however, he was beginning to feel less sure. He wouldn’t admit it to himself, but he was starting to realize that it was nice to have company from time to time. Especially some company more than others.

“Sorry, I realized I’m talking a lot!”

He shook his head. “Not at all,” he replied, trying his best to be reassuring. He liked hearing her talk, especially since he got so few chances to. Anyway, he usually liked when other people did more of the talking. It took a lot of the pressure off of him.

Yet, oddly, he didn’t feel that same pressure as much when he was with Lila. It was strange--talking to her was simultaneously nerve-wracking and surprisingly easy; just the thought of approaching her made him anxious beyond belief, but once he finally did it, he always found conversation coming to him rather naturally. Lila made it easy. It was just the kind of person she was. “Have you had anything to drink yet?”

“Not yet. I’m not sure if I will...I like to stay sober in case anyone needs a hand by the end of the night. Usually Kym.”

“You know it’s not your job to take care of her intoxicated ass.” She laughed again and shrugged one shoulder. “I’ll go get you something.”

Her eyes went round as she watched him get up to leave. “Oh, you don’t have to do that!”

“What do you want?”

“U-um, anything’s fine!”

He squinted his eyes at her. “There must be something you want.”

“Hmm...I’ve never really had beer before.”

  
  


When Lukas returned, he was carrying two giant beer jugs, with the foam at the top already threatening to bubble over. Lila brightened at the sight of him. He set the two drinks down as he squeezed back into the booth, pushing one of the beers towards Lila.

“This is huge!” She said, taking the beverage into her hands. Gingerly, she lifted it up to her lips to take a sip. Her eyes went wide, then squinted. She scrunched up her nose as she set the jug down.

“Do you not like it?” Lukas couldn’t help but crack a shadow of a smile, brightening up his dark features just a little.

“It’s...interesting.” She looked at him again, tilting her head thoughtfully. “I don’t dislike it, I don’t think. Might just take a bit of getting used to.” She dipped her fingertip into the foam and swirled it alongside the rim before licking it off.

_WHY DID SHE HAVE TO BE SO CUTE--_

“Thank you, Lukas.”

He knitted his brows in confusion. “For what?”

“You’re being really nice to me.”

“Yeah, well…” He wanted to say that it was the least he could do to return all the kindness she’d shown him. He wanted to say it was because he wanted to be close to her. He wanted to say it was because he really liked her. He wanted to say a lot of things.

Thankfully, or perhaps regretfully--Lukas couldn’t decide which--his inability to articulate a response was momentarily postponed by the announcement of the drinking contest. Normally, this would’ve been Lukas’s favorite part of the night: the perfect chance to capture people’s most embarrassing moments on camera.

Things didn’t go as planned.

“Lukas, you should do it!” Lila suggested, reaching over and shaking his arm. 

He looked at her hands on his arm, then at her smiling face. It was like looking at the sun--he could only look at her for so long. He had to turn away to stop the warmth from rising in his cheeks. “There’s no way.”

“Awe, c’mon, I bet you’d do so well!”

“I’d rather be murdered.”

“Don’t say that!”

“I would prefer not.”

“I believe in you!”

“I’ll lose.”

“I bet you have a great singing voice!”

Finally he turned to face her again. Lukas’s heart was still beating like a drum in his chest, and Lila’s hands were still on his arm.

“...You’re lucky I’ve had just enough alcohol to allow you to talk me into this.”

Lila let out a little gasp of joy as she released his arm, bringing her hands up to her cheeks. As he got up once again, Lila cheered him on, saying, “You can do it, Lukas! You’ve got this!” He could only grunt, click his tongue, and sigh defeatedly in response. 

He couldn’t believe he’d let her talk him into this.

Before he knew it, he was out within the first round of drinks, along with March. Kym wouldn’t stop laughing at him, as if he wasn’t mortified enough already. But he comforted himself with the knowledge that he still had that humiliating photo of her on his film roll. The thought soothed him. Singing a duet with March in front of the whole precinct did not. For about the first half of the song, he kept his mouth shut as if held closed with wires, refusing to let out even a single note of sound. He stared at Lila from across the room with a dead look in his eyes, which produced the unusual effect of making her giggle rather than shrink in fear. Not that he wanted to frighten her--it was more his attempt at communicating just how much he didn’t want to be standing there with a microphone in his hand.

That was until he opened his mouth and did what Lila least expected him to do: sing. It started off as quiet, even shy, uncharacteristic of what she had known of him up until that point. He cleared his throat, lowered the mic as if in surrender, before waiting a few seconds to try again. This time, his voice was a bit steadier, and it was deep and surprisingly--warm. Lila felt the warmth grow in her chest. Everyone in the precinct turned to look at each other in shock, before erupting into a fit of roars to cheer him on. She clapped along with them, smiling at him the whole time. Even though it was in front of the entire precinct, even though it was because he'd lost the drinking contest, even though he definitely didn't want to be up there and was dying for it all to end--Lila imagined, just for a moment, that he was singing just for her. A silly thought, she knew. Ridiculous, even. But she allowed herself to think for a moment that it didn't matter at all. 

Lukas kept his eyes on her throughout. Looking at her made him feel braver.

As Lukas returned to his seat, he pulled his jug of beer towards him, figuring he would need it to help him cope with the indignity he had just imposed upon himself.

“Lukas, that was so wonderful! I’m never going to forget that.”

“Neither will I, unfortunately.”

Lila laughed as she clinked her jug of beer against his. “We both got to try new things tonight.”

  
  


The night began to wind down not long after that. Everyone started getting up to leave, retrieving their coats and slipping on their winter gloves. Lukas watched as Lila put her own coat on and fluffed her hair so it wouldn’t be stuck inside the collar. “Let me walk you home,” he blurted out, against his better judgement.

She turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. “Silly, _I’m_ walking _you_ home, with all that alcohol you had!”

Snow was lightly falling as they left the warmth of the bar and stepped into the frigid night air. Lila pulled her coat more tightly around her shivering form, and for a brief moment, Lukas had the overwhelming urge to put his arm around her and pull her close. But he couldn’t let himself give in so easily. He wouldn’t let himself.

They were silent for most of the walk. It was comforting, just getting to enjoy one another's presence, the sound of each other's footsteps on the pavement, the occasional sleepy yawn. Once they reached Lila’s house, she faced him and said, “Thanks for doing that, Lukas. You really didn’t have to. Make sure you get home safe, too, okay?” He nodded and watched as she started towards her porch.

“Lila--” He took an impulsive step forward before stopping himself.

Lila halted in her tracks and turned to him once more. “Yes, Lukas?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

Now he had to decide if he really wanted to ask what had been on his mind the whole night. If he really wanted to know the answer. Was it foolish of him to be this concerned about it? He didn't care so much when it came to other people. Why did he feel so differently now?

Maybe it was just the alcohol talking. At least that's what he tried to reason to himself. Regardless, he had already started to ask the question. It was too late to go back now. Lukas tried to disguise a shuddering breath.

“...Do I make you nervous?”

Lila’s mouth parted a little at the question. She didn’t respond immediately, which only made him even more afraid to hear her answer. Silence filled the space between them, creating an agonizing weight upon Lukas’s chest. Visible puffs of air escaped their lips, illuminated by the nearby streetlights.

“...Yeah,” Lila finally admitted. She looked back up at him, her eyes glittering. “When I’m with you, it’s like...my heart’s in my mouth.”

Lukas furrowed his brows.

“It’s that feeling you get when you’re really excited, but also a little anxious. Jittery, maybe. So it makes your heart beat so hard that it feels like it’s filling up your mouth, and you can’t speak. You make me feel that way, Lukas. A little nervous, yes--but in a good way.”

It was difficult to see under the dim light, but a bright flush had started to fill her cheeks. Lukas felt his breath catch in his throat. They both just looked at each other, even though the tips of their cheeks and noses were freezing, even though the cold breeze whistled in their ears, even though their hands and feet were going numb. Their hearts burned like fire inside them.

“Why do you ask?” she finally questioned, tilting her head curiously.

“Oh, well…” Lukas coughed into his fist. “I just...I don’t want to scare you.”

She smiled reassuringly, shaking her head. “You’re not nearly as scary as you seem.”

“Ironic, because you’re a lot scarier than you seem.”

Her brows knitted in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Lukas smiled, genuinely this time. It was probably his first real smile of the night that wasn’t born out of sadistic pleasure--certainly the first one he’d ever shown one of his coworkers. He knew his next words were going to embarrass him, that he’d probably regret them the minute he woke up the next morning. He knew that he was taking a risk. He also knew that she was worth it. “You make me nervous in a good way, too.”

A wide smile slowly formed on Lila’s lips. She sniffled softly, almost as if she was about to cry, but Lukas figured that it was just the cold air. “Goodnight, Lukas.”

“Goodnight, Lila.”

They both turned around, Lila to go into her home and Lukas to head for his, both knowing that when they closed their eyes to sleep that night, they’d be thinking of each other.

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is really cheesy but this is my emotional support fantasy and I can make it as cheesy as I want, right? (right) Also writing Lukas was like really hard and I think I did a rather poor job but I tried my best cx special thanks to my best friend for beta reading for me and being super supportive <3


End file.
